Portfolios > In Landscapes of Memory and Forgetting

Love Letter to Life - Hotel Room, Penzance, Cornwall

Dear Nina,
The Ark Royal was conducting speed trials along the coast of Arran on the River Clyde. For a week, we sailed up and down a measured mile to determine the ship’s maximum speed. Standing on the flight deck with other crew members, admiring the magical Scottish landscape, I felt something akin to homesickness. Not the typical kind, in the sense that I wanted to be at home. Instead, its origin lay outside my control, from an unknown source that had entered my psyche. It was interesting that the Ark Royal’s maiden voyage after two years in dry dock was to the West Coast of Scotland - my most familiar place, and the only familiar place at that time. Was it a coincidence or fate, Nina? Might the future have been different if the ship had conducted speed trials elsewhere? I’m probably reading too much into it. Regardless, something I still struggle to articulate was in control. Perhaps it was you, Nina.

We sailed at full speed from the Isle of Arran through the Irish Sea to Penzance, Cornwall. The only thing I remember from the voyage was that it took eleven hours, which was relatively fast—the Ark Royal was still ‘high’ on speed. Another thing on my mind was that the six-month deadline to buy myself out of the Navy had arrived. I managed to get off the ship in Penzance to call home. My father picked up. I asked him to send twenty pounds. “Yippee!” was his immediate response. I had an exit interview with the ship’s commander, who turned out to be the kindest person I’d met in my short Royal Navy career. He wrote a letter to my parents explaining my reasons for leaving, including disappointment at failing the ship’s diver aptitude test and being too young to join the oceanographic survey branch. It was another month before I was released back into civilian life, and although the Ark Royal was about to embark on a world tour, I knew my decision to leave was the right one.
With love, Roddy